Saturday, June 9, 2012


Is it just me, or maybe where I live? Or is it a sign of encroaching agedness? It seems to me that the young men I see nowadays fall into two main categories—those who have to hold up their pants when they walk, or those who, having some kind of corporate job, wear their pants a size too small.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against comfort, nor a nicely displayed butt. In fact, I can endorse both those things wholeheartedly. The problem is that neither of these styles fall into either of those categories. The guys wearing the baggy pants all walk like penguins, and it can’t be comfortable to not be able to walk properly, run or trust your pants will stay up. Of course, none of them look like they even HAVE an ass…

As for the others…um, guys, you look like you’re still wearing the pants from your prom suit. I’m not sure where they’re buying these dress pants, but I’m arranging a pitchfork and flaming torch party as soon as I figure it out. Besides, I predict a spate of infertility for these men. It can’t be good to have the boys squeezed up like that in polyester all day! To add insult to injury, it isn’t particularly attractive to see a man walking down the street with what amounts to a planned wedgie.

It’s so bad that when I see a man with a nice ass, in a well-fitting pair of pants, I’m staring, because who knows when next I’ll see another? I’m hoping the fashion wheel will spin once more and bring back something with a little more, or less, room in the toosh. I like penguins but not disguised as men, and tights on anyone other than a superhero doesn't do it for me!

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