Sunday, July 24, 2011

Full Circle

Life seems to like doubling back on itself.

My grandfather, Walter, would never turn back once he left a place, even if he'd forgotten something. He said it was bad luck. Thankfully, I resisted taking on that particular superstition, since I'm terribly forgetful at times, and I'd have to go out without my keys, or purse, or whatever, if I refused to turn back once I'd left home. I never knew Walter, but I sometimes wonder if he felt the same way about going back to times, issues and lessons learned in the past? Would Grandpa be horribly annoyed if he found himself having to go back once he'd moved on from a particular person, place or thing?

I'm thinking sometimes we need to go back--to revisit old situations, maybe even re-live them--because we didn't get the whole or right lesson the first time around.

Right now I'm watching someone I love go through something I experienced in my own life, and at first it was frustrating--like watching a really bad movie and knowing how it was going to end, because you've seen it before and really didn't want to have to sit through it again. Then I realized it didn't have to end the same way. That person is different. The people around him are different to the ones I had around me at the time. And even if it does pan out in a similar way, maybe he needs to learn, the way I did, just what life is capable of throwing at you.

I also think I never did learn the lesson I was supposed to learn, so I'm learning it now, along with him. I'll let him be my guide, rather than visa versa, since clearly I wouldn't be a very good one.

We'll make it. I have faith in him and, certainly, a great deal more faith in myself than I had before. Together, we'll get through it.

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